tim's experiment

This is not going to turn into a golf column, but the fuss over Tiger Woods has wider implications than who will lift the next trophy.  Mr Woods is apparently a very proficient golfer. Occasional glimpses of his personality have been less admiring. It seems he rarely smiles, does not engage in friendly informal interactions with the fans or — big mistake — the press, is often visibly irritated when a shot does not go where he wishes it, does not enjoy team versions of the sport and is generally rather obsessed with his own pursuit of perfection.  These accusations of social deficiency are often levelled at outstanding sportsmen and women. I remember similar things being said from time to time about the Williams sisters, Lester Pigott, Geoff Boycott, Jimmy Greaves (long time since I took much interest, you will gather) and no doubt much of this criticism is human nature’s way of coping with the uncomfortable knowledge that someone else is better. In rather the same way you find successful English football teams invariably disparaged as tactically boring, unfairly well-funded, full of foreigners or all three. Professional sportspeople come with a variety of personalities. Some of them are cheerful extroverts, effortlessly recruiting admiring fans, some are shy people who reluctantly accept the need for a certain amount of public schmoozing for the good of the game, and some are introverts who avoid it as much as possible. In individual, as opposed to team, games a certain amount of self-obsession may be indispensable and even desirable.

Mr Woods’s recent problems stem from the discovery, following a minor car accident, that he has on occasion been unfaithful to his wife. I am amazed that people find this surprising. Professional sportsmen on away trips are not hermits. They are fit young men interested in what may be available. If they are rich, successful and engaged in a glamourous – or better still dangerous – sport they will find many opportunities and few refuse what is eagerly offered. No doubt there are respectable married men who go to bed alone every night with a book. But they are heavily outnumbered by the counterparts who, married or not, enjoy being admired and accept the offers that admiration sometimes brings. This is the way it goes. Bull fighters have always been notorious. Professional footballers are expected to sow oats; the reason why wives and girlfriends willingly undertake boring trips to distant tournaments is because if they are not there then the field is free for the locals. Successful sportsmen arouse many of the instincts which produce exciting social lives for pop stars. And we all know what they get up to.

So why such a fuss over Woods? Partly, perhaps, because golf is a game for mature and respectable citizens. If it was alleged that David Beckham had 12 girlfriends on the side the average football fan would feel admiration and envy rather then disapproval. Golfers, on the other hand have reached the age of continence, or at least of hypocrisy. Partly it is because of the puritanical habits of the American press, which likes to write about sex as much as the rest of us but can only do so when provided with a good excuse. Partly it is because the sports writers enjoy having something portentious to write about for a change. And partly, I fear, it is because Mr Woods is black. A black man who sleeps with white women disturbs some prejudices which many Americans prefer to pretend they have not got. See the disproportionate reactions to the O.J.Simpson saga. 

It is all going a bit far. Acres of newsprint were devoted to the analysis of the Tiger’s recent return to action, and the question whether his efforts to masquerade as a cuddly human being were putting him off his normal game. At his press conference, reporters carefully informed us, he gave normal sensible answers but “his eyes were smouldering”. Really?

The person I feel sorry for is Mrs Woods, who is getting a lot of advice, most of it bad. A long time ago there was a much-admired advice columnist called “Dear Pansy” in a Hong Kong newspaper. Her advice to wives of husbands who were mysteriously often called away for business weekends in Bangkok was surprising but practical. It went roughly “All men are pigs. If you want to stay married to your hushand you must learn to accept him as he is.”