tim's experiment

I am not often moved to comment on American politics but I see the new Speaker is a gentleman who spells his name Boehner … which, The Economist observed for readers who might be confused on this point, rhymes with “trainer”. This will have come as a profound disappointment for many readers who will have supposed that it rhymed with “loner”.  This is, after all, in conformity with the usual practice. The “oe” combination usually comes out as a long “o”, as in Boeing or Goebbels. Putting an “h” on the end of it shouldn’t make any difference. If it was meant to rhyme with trainer it would be spelled Behner, you would think.

Now of course there is a reason why Mr Boehner might prefer to rhyme with “trainer”. Boner, in the slang of many English-speaking countries, is not only the word for a butchery implement; it is also the word for – um – an erect male sexual organ. Indeed before Mr Boehner’s pronunciation preferences had been pronounced in Hong Kong, the internet was already alive with some rather indecent plays on words. Mr Obama was to face “stiff opposition”. His opponent would give him a “hard time”.  Other authors speculated on the headlines which might accompany Clintonesque indiscretions on the part of Mr Boehner, supposing he perpetrates any. Clearly for a politician who wishes to be taken seriously the Bayner pronunciation is rather important.

Still it is, I fear, wrong. We must salute Mr Boehner’s exemplary persistence and success in persuading people to adopt a thoroughly implausible version of his name for public purposes. Even TVB is rhyming with “trainer”, which considering the problems they used to have with Leicester City is a remarkable achievement. But there is a cost to Mr Boehner’s success. Many of us have suspected for a long time that Americans are a puritanical lot who also cannot be bothered to pronounce foreign names properly. A plausible theory, it seems.