tim's experiment

It is not often I feel moved to write, or even read, about competitive swimming, but a story the other day was provocative. Readers will recall that a year or two ago swimmers started appearing in a new suit, which covered everything, and was constructed from some high tech material which made them a bit faster. Records tumbled, people who could not afford the new duds complained, and the speed suits were eventually banned.

Now everyone is back in the old gear, records are no longer tumbling. In fact they are not being broken at all. This is apparently disappointing for spectators, who like to see records broken. I can’t think why, as you can’t tell until the announcement afterwards whether a record has been set or not, but there it is. We may note in passing that spectators are in for a disappointment sooner or later because speeds will hit limits set by biology. Racehorses, which have been racing a lot longer than human swimmers, have reached this stage. They go as fast as a horse can go without turning into a Pegasus and speed records are rarely broken.

Anyway, in the meantime, according to the story, the swimming authorities are wrestling with some way to keep crowds interested in a record-free meeting, and also struggling with the sponsors. It seems that the cover-everything Superman suit provided plenty of space for advertising. Now the male swimmers have gone back to something more like traditional briefs there is nowhere to put a logo on the upper half of the body, which is the only part likely to appear on television.

Now in the first place it seems clear that the suit problem is not going to go away. Hundredths of a second make a difference at this level so people are always going to be looking for an edge. The answer, it seems to me, is that the swimmers should wear no clothes at all. This would also solve the problem of attracting an audience, though no doubt it will not be exactly the same as the audience they get now. I suppose in the interests of hygiene they could keep those funny hats. They won’t be wearing much less than the beach volleyball people do.

This will considerably reduce the demand for competitive swimwear. But I suppose other sponsors will be interested. Of course there will be nothing to stick a logo on but where there’s a profit to be had people find a way. Some sort of removable tatoo?