tim's experiment

No doubt we all rejoice in the news that Mr Michael Suen has recovered from Legionnaires’ disease. Bulletins on the subject provided an interesting sidelight into the secret lives of our leaders.  It was reported that the malevolent microbe was lurking in the plumbing of Mr Suen’s personal accomodation in the new Central Government Offices. Specifically, it was reported that Mr Suen’s aministrative infrastructure includes a personal toilet.

And the question this raises, of course, is why? I presume Mr Suen was not personally responsible for the arrangement. I presume also that the Educational portfolio is not the only one believed to require a personal privy for the overpaid placeman in charge of it. This means that among the unsung assets of the new government HQ there is a large collection of personal loos, provided at unimaginable expense, invvolving not only a great deal of superfluous porcelain and space, but a lor of otherwise unnecessary plumbing. There is of course no need for this sort of thing at all. There is no magical quality about a Policy Secretary’s privates which requires them to be pointed only at a personal pissoir. Secretaries could use the facilities provided for their colleagues. It would give them some incentive to make sure that these facilities were of a high standard, and give them some opportunities for informal interaction with colleagues they might otherwise not meet.

Unfortunately this nonsense has filtered down from the top. The new paperwork palace features not just a private entrance for the Chief Executive but a private drive. Civil servants who recall meeting Chris Patton in the lift find that they do not meet his successor there because if Donald visits a government building he always has a lift reserved for his private use. In the light of the revelations about Mr Suen’s arrangements we may speculate that a toilet is reserved for Donald on there occasions as well.

I wonder what our eager would-be CEs think of this. Is Henry Tang, now masquerading vigorously as a Man of the People, also the proud possessor of a personal office toilet? Does CY Leung, also a paper proletarian pro tem, approve of special facilities for Exco members? Is it any wonder that people in the street regard policy secretaries with contempt when our leaders go to such lengths to avoid contact with the victims of their activities?

There is a small serious point lurking here. There will certainly be a surplus of male toilets in the new government palace, firstly because architects cannot get their heads round the point that women take longer, and secondly because the provision of such facilities never takes into account the number of people of each gender who will be using them. There will be a shortage of female toilets for the same reasons. Nothing will be done about this because all the senior staff have toilets of their own. This is a small specimen of the great overall principle that our leaders have no idea what they are doing becaue they are so sedulously segregated from contact with ordinary people and the circumstance in which they live.

A small prize for the Legislative Councillor who asks how many officials are entitled to personal toilets provided at the public expense. And for Mr Suen, an interesting thought: you wouldn’t have caught the horrible disease if you had been using the same plumbing as everyone else.