tim's experiment

It is disconcerting for military historians to find the Duchess of Cambridge in the news. There are two egregiously excessive and unjustified equestrian statues in London. One commemorates the Duke of York (1763-1827: there have been many others. The title is traditionally bestowed on the King’s second son). This is the one who in the old song marched them up to the top of the hill and marched them down again. The other commemorates the Duke of Cambridge (1819-1904) another Royal sprig, who servcd without distinction in command of the Guards and Highland Brigades in the Crimea, was made commander-in-chief because of his aristocratic status and spend 39 years in that post opposing military reform of any kind. I must in fairness add that he did found the School of Military Music.

Now the title belongs to the young man formerly known as Prince William, who became the Dook on the day of his wedding. He also became Earl of Strathearn and Baron of Carrickfergus. These Royal types need large business cards.

Anyway the fuss about the Duchess stems from some topless pictures, snapped with a lens the size of a bazooka while she was staying in a remote house — according to some accounts a chateau — in France. There is no suggestion that she was doing anything controversial, pornographic or whatever. This has provided an opportunity for Brits to pose self-righteously, for journalists to add to the already excessive mountain of words devoted to the late Princess Di, and for spectators in more boring countries to revel in a “Royal scandal”. And meanwhile the happy couple departed for a world tour, winding up in the Solomon Islands where lots of ladies appear topless and think nothing of it. Indeed the Economist found a news picture in which two breasts (not the Duchess’s) were clearly visible at the welcoming reception.

This all strikes me as a little weird.  I can remember a time when female breasts were rarely seen. Boys who were curious had to seek out the National Geographic magazine, which occasionally covered topless Stone Age tribes, or nudist magazines in strange European languages. When the first bikini hit the beaches the appearance of the naked female navel in public was a sensation.  Times have changed. There is nothing noteworthy about the Duchess sunbathing topless in the South of France. This is what everyone else does down there. In many European cities a sunny day brings out the bosoms in public parks. The media are a riot of naked nipples, although not in Hong Kong, and as for the internet … So what’s the fuss about? All right the lady is a princess but if her bare Bristols are seen in public her husband is not going to turn back into a frog. There has never been a problem with men going topless. Isn’t it time for a bit of equality here?